Shortly before Christmas I unexpectedly found myself sitting in a hospital (Antakalnio ligoninė). It all happened – J waking up in excruciating pain, being taken to hospital, undergoing emergency surgery, sitting up in bed playing Candy Crush – with bewildering and remarkable speed. I went with G to visit her in the evening, soon after…… Continue reading R.I.P.
Never have I felt this sad around Christmas. My aching heart woke me up at 5:10am. Boom, boom, boom, it thumped (my heart pumps dejection through me at a rate of 70 aches per minute). I have always loved Christmas. It was the one celebration that really meant something to me. Birthdays are cruel annual…… Continue reading Closed
Dear Santa, my name is Tiny Tom and I am writing with my wish list for 2017 (thank you for my Action Man last year). It grieves me to say that things have seriously deteriorated since your last visit. My list, therefore, may seem a little excessive but it is only because you are the…… Continue reading An open letter to Santa
This year was très tragic with the long, drawn-out extinction of trīewth. There is no official line yet on how it died. Some sources say that it died peacefully in its sleep. Others say that death itself is fake and truth a hoax. A government spokesperson said they would henceforth be outsourcing trīewth to the…… Continue reading Hot potato
A lifelong love of coffee, red wine, tobacco and truth has, alas, left my mouth looking a little worse for wear. But at least there is a certain poetic justice to my oral degradation. The mouth, not unlike its tight-lipped counterpart, is a vent for a great deal of noxious discharge. What passes for speech…… Continue reading White teeth
This is a thankless endeavour. Not a peep, not a whisper. It’s a game of hide and seek gone wrong, or I Spy with no I and nothing spied. What madness compels me to keep doing it? This doesn’t exist without you, who remain indifferent. It is a conundrum, a quandary, a pickle: I don’t…… Continue reading Review